


You Make Your Way Into My Veins

by 2edge4u



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Drug Dealing, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-08 13:49:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4307457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2edge4u/pseuds/2edge4u
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The AU where Carmilla is a stressed out psychiatrist looking for some relief and Laura is the drug dealer that has just what she needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, idk why I wrote this but I wanted to write Laura as a bad girl so here we are. Eventual fluff and smut probably. Title from PVRIS - Smoke.

Today has been absolute shit. Every single patient that walked through my door insisted on regaling me with endless banter on their insignificant problems. When I got into the mental health field, I was kind of hoping to be in a position to actually help people. Now I’m spending the majority of my week having to listen to people come up with every excuse in the world for why they need another prescription. I still have a few patients though who are really seeking help so I’m here for them I guess. I just can’t for the life of me understand why some Stepford Wife wearing flip flops to your dinner party is a justifiable reason to have a full on manic episode, ending in a trip to the hospital and four scripts for a muscle relaxers and anti-depressants. Just because some other sap of a physician may have given in to your crap, doesn’t mean that I’m going to write you another one and you can get off my couch now.

“It appears our time is up for this week Mrs. McKay. We can pick up here next week.”

“Oh, well what am I going to do until then? Can’t you write me something?” she says with this impossibly smug look on her face.

“I don’t feel comfortable prescribing you anything yet since we haven’t quite narrowed down your diagnosis. With your sporadic symptoms, it may take a while longer. We will know more next week. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have somewhere I have to be. I will see you on Wednesday. Have a great week.”

“Well, thank you Dr. Karnstein. I’ll figure something out until then.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“Until next week.”

“Good bye,” I say as I close my office door behind her and lean my back up against it. I have got to get out of here.

I step out into the waiting room to find my secretary Sarah Jane working diligently as always. She’s a sweet girl and a hard worker. She wants to go into the psychiatric field as well so she is very passionate about her work here and that’s great for me.

“Hey, S.J. Do I have any more appointments today?” I asked, hoping for a no so I can get the hell out of here.

“Hey, Dr. K, you did have a 3:30 with Mr. Mitchell but his wife called to cancel for this week. It appears he had a bathroom accident that is keeping him housebound for now. She insisted on telling me all about it.”

“Holy shit, that’s so gross.”

“Oh my god.”

We both laugh until our ribs hurt. I mean, what kind of bad luck do you have to be severely injured while going to the bathroom? I mean, I feel bad but at least I can go home now.

“Well, I guess that’s it for then day then. Thanks for your hard work as always. See you in the morning?” I say before turning back toward my office to collect my things.

“Yes, I’ll get coffee this time.”

“Great, see you then. Have a great night, S.J.”

“Thanks, Dr. K. You too,” she says while walking out the door to her car.

 

* * *

 

 

I’m driving home and I can’t seem to shake this tense feeling. Every driver around me may not be able to hear me, but they are definitely about to suffer my wrath and impending doom if they don’t get the hell out my way or I don’t know, maybe use a blinker once in a while. There is an impressive stream of curse words coming from my mouth that would probably make Samuel L. Jackson blush and I’ve honked my horn more times in the last five minutes than I have all year. I need to get off the road before I hurt someone or myself.

I finally pull into my driveway and I’m so ready to just go inside and crash when I see the source of my next problem of the day. One of the windows of my house is broken and someone left a note taped to the sliver of glass that’s still left. This ought to be good.

I walk get out of the car, lock it and head over to grab the note for a closer look.

“Hello Carmilla,

It appears as though our child Riley has accidently broken your window while playing ball in our front yard. LaFontaine and I would like to extend our deepest apologies. Please know that we plan to pay for a replacement as soon as you’re ready. I’m sorry again and please call or come by and let us know how we can give you the payment for the repair.

With regards,

Lola Perry”

Well, if anyone was going to break my window, at least it was that cute little kid next door. I can just see it now. The amount of tears he probably cried over breaking that window would most likely be enough to fill the great lakes twice. I can’t be mad at the kid, or the ginger squad for that matter. They have their quirks, but they make for a nice little family. I’ll talk to them tomorrow. Right now, I just want to order a pizza and eat it in my underwear while I read _Meditations_ for the fifteenth time. I should probably go out and be around people. That’s what I would advise my patients to do, but my idea just sounds so much better.

I’m three slices in to this spinach and tomato pizza when I get an idea. If I don’t figure out a way to relax a bit before going in to the office tomorrow, I might decapitate a patient on principal alone. I pull out my phone to text my loser brother.

 **Me:** Hey little bro. Do you still know all those pot head friends from the 5 minutes you were in college?

 **Willy Boy:** Damn kitty. No need to be a dick. I still know a few ppl. Y?

 **Me:** Do I really need to type it or did that 5 minutes really do you no good at all?

 **Willy Boy:** Shit! Well fine then. I was going to hook you up but since you’re being rude I won’t.

 **Me:** Will, don’t be that way. I’m fucking with you.

 **Willy Boy:** I know. I know the perfect person. They deliver so I’ll text them your address. They’re usually there within the hour. Super reliable.

 **Me:** Oh, sounds like you know what you’re doing. Well, thank bro.

 **Willy Boy:** Whatever. Just don’t tell mom.

 **Me:** Lol, yea. I’m just gonna call her right now. Bye loser.

 **Willy Boy:** Seriously, don’t tell her. Bye kitty.

I swear that kid is going to be the death of me. He’s really a great guy, but he just can’t figure his life out and get on track. He’s content with just partying and working odd jobs and our mother is not so happy about that. I really don’t care what he’s doing as long as he’s happy in the end.

 

* * *

 

 

I hate myself because I managed to eat yet another piece of pizza and I haven’t even put my pants back on yet. This dealer person should be here any minute now and I’m just sitting here reevaluating my life choices in my underwear with pizza crumbs on my bare lap. I never really thought my life would turn out this way. Yea, I may have the job I always wanted, but that doesn’t mean that I’m happy. Something is definitely missing and I don’t know where to start to fix it. I don’t know when I got to the point in my life where I would rather stay home alone every day of the week than have a healthy social life, but here we are. The doorbell rings just as I’m reaching for yet another piece of goddamn pizza.

“Hold on a sec!” I exclaim as I run to find the nearest pair of pants. After clumsily putting them on and almost tripping on every piece of furniture along the way, I finally answer the door.

Standing there is five feet, two inches of nervous energy. This girl is breathtaking in every way and I find myself fighting to find any words at all. My god, between her honey brown hair, perfect eyes, golden flawless skin or her shy smile I’m not sure which is going to kill me first. What on earth did I do in a past life to have her walk up to my door?

“Hi sweetheart, how can I help you?” I ask while leaving against the door frame and crossing my arms.

“Um, hi. I’m looking for a kitty?” she says while looking over her shoulder. Again.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have any cats and I haven’t seen any strays around here.”

“No, I’m sorry. I meant a person named Kitty. My friend Will said that they lived here.”

“Wow, what an idiot.”

“What? I’m sorry I bothered you but you don’t have to be rude about it,” she says while beginning to pout. She’s actually pouting.

I laugh for a good ten seconds before finally breaking the news to her.

“I wasn’t talking about you, Cutie. I was talking about my idiot brother… Will.”

“Oh, I am so sorry.”

The look of horror on her face is priceless.

“By the way, my name is most definitely not Kitty. That’s just a stupid nickname Will has for me. The name’s Carmilla. Would you like to come in?”

“Yes, please. Thank you,” she says as she walks in.

“Well, now that we’ve both thoroughly insulted each other, we should probably be on a first name basis. What’s your name, Cutie?” I say while sitting down on the couch in the living room. She walks over to join me and takes off the girliest back pack I have seen since Lisa Frank merchandise was popular.

As she sits down next to me she says “You can call me Laura. I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s ok, really. Well, should we get down to business.”

“Yes! Ok, well I have some questions first. What are you looking to get out of this experience? Stress relief, pain management, intellectual stimulation or just a really good time?” she says as she starts to take little boxes out of her backpack and setting them on the table.

“All of the above I guess. Work has been hell lately and I just need to escape a bit.”

“Say no more, I have this particular strand that will suit you perfectly. It’s a hybrid between OG Kush and Blueberry Diesel and it will take care of what you need. Consume in moderation though, it will knock you out before you even finish your breakfast burrito.”

We both laugh as she’s looking through her things for the right box.

“Ok, I just have to ask. Are you seriously a drug dealer? You look more like a kindergarten teacher than a dealer.”

“Haha, I get that a lot. Yes, I actually do sell drugs to pay my bills but it’s just for now until I finish school. I’m working on my masters in anthropology and I don’t really have the time for a legitimate job so this is how I make ends meet since I’m having to pay for everything myself.”

“You are just full of surprises,” I say while crossing my legs and leaning back on my hands.

“Yea, I guess so. How much are you looking to get?”

“It depends on what you’re talking about, Cutie?”

It takes her a second to get it, but you could see the red in her cheeks from a mile away.

“I, uh, I meant like how many grams do you want?” she is practically stumbling over herself at this point.

“Oh, well I don’t need much. An eighth will be fine.”

“Ok, great it will just take me a sec.”

“Take all the time you need, Cupcake.”

I lean back into the cushions as she methodically weighs out her product and puts it in its own little box. She takes such care with every step, she’s beginning to make drug dealing look adorable which is ridiculous.

“So, how do you know my brother?”

“Will? We met a party a few years ago. He was really drunk and found out that I had broken up with my girlfriend at the time so he made it his mission to ‘flip me back to the home team.’ After a good punch to the throat, I felt bad and ended up taking care of him and we became friends after that. Weird, I know.”

Did she just say girlfriend?

“Well, that’s not exactly the story I expected. I apologize on behalf of my brother. He can be a real asshole when he drinks.”

“It’s ok, I know how to handle him at this point. I appreciate it though.”

“No problem. I know how he can be. He was convinced I was still just ‘going through a phase’ until I kept stealing his girlfriends and then he finally realized that he was wrong,” I say with a laugh.

She looks up at me with this little half grin and narrows her eyes a bit before handing me the box.

“Haha, wow. You sound like a great sister.”

“I can’t help it that they ended up realizing who the better sibling was and jumped ship. Not my fault.”

“I can certainly understand,” she says before looking down at her lap.

“Hmm, how much do I owe you anyway?”

“Oh, it’s going to be $60.”

“Damn, prices have gone up since I was an undergrad.”

“Haha, yea well this stuff is worth every penny. Trust me.”

“Oh yea? Well I guess I’ll have to see for myself.”

“I guess so. Well, I need to be going. Thank you and it was nice to meet you, Carmilla.”

She stood up, slinging her backpack onto her shoulders and turned toward the door.

“Going so soon, Cutie? You’re not going to stick around and share this with me?”

“No, thanks. I don’t actually smoke it, I just sell it. It’s all about paying the bills.”

“Hmm, you continue to surprise me. Well, if you really have to go could I have your number?”

“What?” she says while unsuccessfully trying to hide the fact that she’s blushing.

“Strictly for business purposes. I may need to contact you again,” I say and give her a wink.

“Haha, oh. Yea. Business. Will has my number. I should probably go,” she says as she’s frantically trying to unlock the door.

“Slow down, Cupcake. Don’t hurt yourself.”

I walk over and reach around her waist to unlock the door making sure to get a little closer than drug dealers and their clients probably should.

“Thanks,” she says while frozen in place.

“Any time. Thanks for the… uh… you know.”

I open the door and step aside so she can leave.

“Glad to be of service. It was nice to meet you, Carmilla.”

“You as well, Laura. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye,” she says as she pulls her hood up and skips down my driveway to proceed to climb onto a fucking Vespa. Could she be any more adorable?

I never saw myself associating with criminal types, but there is just something about her. I have got to know so much more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn a bit about Laura's story and she talks to a stoned Carmilla. hahahaha
> 
> Laura POV

Oh my god, why didn’t Will give me any warning at all? I am so going to kick his ass the next time I see him. He should have told me her real name, the fact that she’s his sister, also that she’s hot as hell and super flirtatious which wasn’t fair because I was in no way ready to flirt back today. Here she is answering the door in a tank top that is cut just low enough and these leather pants that don’t necessarily look very comfortable, but shit are they really hot on her and I show up in an old hoodie and cutoff jeans. I really don’t want to know what my hair looks like right now since I’ve been wearing a helmet all day and I could not be more mortified that I met her looking like this. Will is going to die.

I accidently squeal my tires while pulling out of Carmilla’s driveway because I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Once I’m around the corner and out of sight, I pull off the road, take my phone out of my backpack and call Will.

“Will, what the actual fuck!? Why would you do that to me?” I yell.

“Well hello to you too, short stuff” Will responds while laughing heartily.

“Cut the shit, Will. You should have told me!”

“Told you what?”

“Hmm, let me make a list for you. Kitty is not her real name, she’s your sister, she’s really hot and really fucking good at flirting!” I say while throwing my free hand into the air in anger.

“Hahaha, well that’s why I didn’t tell you. I figured you would probably like my sister and you both deserve some fun for a while.”

“Are you seriously trying to hook me up with your sister, who is so far out of my league it’s not even funny, after being a complete slime ball to me for years?”

“Yea, well I guess I just thought you two would hit it off. Laura, I’m sorry for all that shit I used to say to you. It’s no excuse by any means, but I just didn’t understand who you were really until I got to know you. I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable. I consider you more of a friend than anything else and I just want you to be happy,” he says with all sincerity his voice.

“Well that was unexpected. Thanks, I guess.”

“Whatever. Anyway, so based on your list that you fired off like a fully automatic weapon a minute ago, it sounds like I was right. You did like my sister.”

“Shut up. Ok, maybe she was really cool. I mean, who can actually wear leather pants and look that good? It just defies logic. Also, who is that good at flirting in real life? It just doesn’t make any sense, but it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” he asks.

“I meant it when I said she’s out of my league. She’s a gorgeous doctor and I’m a drug dealing student. We could not be more different if we tried.”

“You two have a lot more in common than you think. You’re really selling yourself short here,” he laughs.

“Oh my god, enough with the short jokes already. Thanks anyway,” I add.

“I can’t help myself. You are just so tiny,” he laughs.

“Seriously, shut the hell up.”

A few moments go by without either of saying anything and I’m getting ready to hang up in a second. Will’s great, but he cannot carry on a conversation without making it awkward within the first five minutes.

“Can you not be so literal? I didn’t mean for you to-“

“No, I’m sorry. It’s just that Carmilla texted me and I wanted to read it real quick.”

“She did?” I say, hoping that Will didn’t hear the excitement in my voice.

“Well, sounds like someone is more interested in my sister than she let on.”

“Whatever, did she say anything about me?”

“Oh, a lot actually. She may end up texting you before I can even give you her number. She has yours now, thanks to me. You’re welcome, Hollis.”

“Shut up,” I say before hanging up.

If Carmilla really is interested in me (which is impossible) then I guess she will text me. There is no way in hell or Hogwarts that she will, but a girl can dream right? I put my phone back in my bag and head back to my apartment. It’s getting cold out here so I need to get home.

* * *

 

I seriously cannot wait until I graduate in December. Having to strong arm my door open every time is really starting to take a toll on my left shoulder. I’m lucky to have a roof over my head and everything, but I cannot wait to get out of this shit hole. The ceiling leaks this gross brownish water, the electrical wiring is so backwards that I have to flip a switch in my bathroom to make a smoothie in my kitchen, the windows don’t seal anything so it’s always freezing in here and I can never get the smell out of here no matter how hard I try. I have spent countless hours scouring every surface of this place and it will always have a faint scent of old beer and cat pee. I don’t know who lived here before me, but I hate them and I hate this place.

Once I graduate, I’ll be working for my current professor as a researcher and artifact conservator. I make decent money right now, but this new job will nearly quadruple my salary and I don’t have to worry about getting busted every five seconds. I know that I’m putting a lot on the line here, but selling is the only way that I can generate enough income to survive with my heavy school schedule.

I don’t have any financial help from anyone so I’ve had to make some tough choices in the last few years. My dad is amazing, but he can’t help me at this point in his life. He had a terrible work accident a few years ago and ended up breaking his back in three places. He’s now on permanent disability and barely brings in enough to make rent. I end up having to buy his groceries and pay the occasional electric bill which I don’t mind. After my mom left us when I was four, he did everything he could to provide the best possible life for me and I have to help him. He gave up his own social life and aspirations to take care of me so it’s my turn to take care of him.

I’m sitting down to rewatch season 7 of Dexter and do a little studying when I get a text.

**Perry:** Hey Laura, I’ve got something new that you’re going to want to take a look at. Can I come by?

 **Me:** Yea, sounds good.

 

Perry and I have been friends since we were getting our undergrads back at Silas. She was kind of annoying at first, but she grew on me. She’s one person in my life that I know I can count on when I need help and she always takes care of me, both as a friend and as a supplier. Perry’s actually the one who got me into the business. She grew up in a family where everyone sold drugs to get by so it’s kind of second nature to her. When I told her all about my financial situation in our sophomore year, she offered to help me and I’ve been selling ever since. Perry gets the best shit around and always gives me a great price so I profit a lot off of this deal. She must have been around the corner because I hear a knock at the door.

“Hi, sweetie. How are you?” Perry asks while kissing me on both cheeks before closing the door behind her. “Wow, you should really have someone take a look at that door, Laura. It can’t be safe.”

“Yea, I know. This place is awful, but I shouldn’t be here much longer. Anyway, I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m great, Laura. Thank you. I have a surprise for you. I finally got it,” she says before her lips curl into a wicked smile.

“You didn’t.”

“And you’re doubting me? Laura, you should know by now that I have the market on the best product in town and I’m offering it to you first since you’re my friend.”

“You seriously got ahold of some Strawberry Cough? In this town?”

“Yep, you know my resources are top notch, Laura. Anyway, how much do you want? I know you’ve been itching to get this for your clients.” She asks while opening her bag.

“I’ll start with two ounces. Money is tight right now, but this should help. Thanks, Perry.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Are we still on for this weekend?” she asks while placing two vacuum sealed bags on my table.

“Definitely. I haven’t been to a nice restaurant in ages and I’m already starving,” I laugh.

“You know Laura, for someone who is so tiny and doesn’t actually smoke the weed that she sells, you are always so hungry. It’s quite adorable really,” Perry says.

“Yea, well I’m a growing girl that needs her food. And by food I mean cookies.”

“Laura, I’m surprised you don’t have scurvy by now. Anyway, I must be going. I have business to take care of.”

“Always the entrepreneur, Perry.”

“Indeed” she says, offering a smile before slamming my door shut behind her. I hate that stupid door.

* * *

 

I put away the bags that Perry brought me and go to change into my normal around the house clothes (underwear and a tank top), when I hear my phone buzz on the coffee table. It’s pretty late so that has to be Will. He is a real night owl and it’s kind of annoying sometimes. However, it’s a text from an unknown number so I open it to see who it is.

Oh shit.

 **(416) 249-6658:** Hey, Cutie. Thanks again for today. I feel much better now.

Oh my god.

 **Me:** You’re welcome. Do you like the product?

 **(416) 249-6658:** Very much so. I haven’t felt this relaxed in ages and I think I just ate a whole pizza by myself. I’m not sure.

 **Me:** Lol, you’re not sure?

 **(416) 249-6658:** Yea. I remember ordering a pizza, eating some of it but now I can’t find the pizza so I must have eaten the whole thing. Oops.

She is killing me right now. This crush is only getting worse.

 **Me:** Well, either you did eat the whole pizza or you’ll find the rest of it tomorrow.

 **(416) 249-6658:** LOL, ur so right. Anyway, can you come by tomorrow? I should be home after 6.

Shit. She couldn’t have smoked all that in one night...

 **Me:** Sure, but did you run out already?

 **(416) 249-6658:** Run out of what, cupcakes!!1? Bahahahahajahahaha

What?

 **Me:** No, not cupcakes. What I sold you yesterday…

 **(416) 249-6658:** Oh yea, totally. Fresh out over here.

 **Me:** Wow, well I got something new in today that I think you’ll like even better so I’ll drop by tomorrow around 7.

 **(416) 249-6658:** I don’t know how I could like it any more than I already do. I can’t stop thinking about it. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow I guess. Good night, Cupcake.

What the hell is she talking about? She must be really high right now.

 **Me:** Ok then, see you tomorrow. Good night, Carmilla.

 

I set my phone down on the arm of the couch and try to take a deep breath. Even when she’s clearly high as balls, she is just so… I don’t even know. What I do know is that I want to see her again. Even if it’s only as her drug dealer. There is no way that a woman like her will settle for someone like me, but I can’t let my own insecurities stop me from seeing her.

Hold on, what was she talking about in that last text? She’s thinking about it all the time… She couldn’t like it any more than she already does…

Holy crap, is she talking about me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing to read this! I'm really having fun exploring this AU. Feedback on this and my other works are always welcome. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Find me a 2edge4u.tumblr.com and let's be friends!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura comes back over and Carmilla has a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this update took me so long. I have been so busy with my other story that I haven't had as much time for this one. Anyway, thanks for reading. Y'all are great!

I have had to sit through yet another day of listening to endless stories from self-absorbed soccer moms talk and talk about how much they hate their lives. I’m sorry, but nobody forced you to get married to the first guy who ever made you wet right out of high school. It’s honestly not my fault that you feel trapped in a loveless marriage so stop treating me like it is. I am not going to become one of those doctors who will just sling pills to anyone who talks long enough or uses the right combination of words. I originally got into this profession to actually help people and maybe one day I’ll be able to get out of this mediocre practice and do that.

Sarah Jane informed me that we’re done for the day and I’m so relieved. Laura is supposed to be coming over again tonight and after I made a fool of myself last night while texting her, I really need to make a good impression here. I honestly don’t know what it is about her, but I know I want to see her again. If I’m being honest, girls like her usually annoy the shit out of me. So cheery and positive; give me a fucking break. But Laura seems to be different. Yea, she could pass as an average preppy girl if she wanted to. She certainly has the features to pull off the girl next door look, but she’s anything but that. She shows up in ripped jeans, a hoodie and helmet hair, but still manages to knock the breath right out of my chest. She has this raw beauty that drives me up the wall. I don’t know if I want a relationship with this girl or anything, but I don’t want to close off that possibility either.

After closing up the office and waving good bye to Sarah Jane, I’m heading to the grocery store. I was thinking that if I’m making dinner when Laura drops by, maybe I could convince her to stick around for at least a little bit. I want to talk to her about more than just business and this would give me the opportunity to do so. I pick up ingredients for baked ziti, a Caesar salad and fresh bread. It’s already after five so I need to get home quickly if I’m going to have everything ready on time.

On the way home, I start really thinking about what I’m doing here. Why am I freaking out over this girl? She’s a drug dealer! I don’t even know her and this is probably a bad idea, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since she peeled out of my driveway last night. To be honest all I can say is that she makes me feel different. I have spent the last few years feeling like something crucial is missing; I feel empty. I am surrounded by bullshit all day long and she is the first real thing to come into my life in a long time. She looks at me differently than anyone else in my life does. She looks at me like I’m worth something. She looks at me like I’m not a failure; like I’m not a monster.

I get home and rush inside to start cooking. I honestly hate cooking but I think it would be a bit more obvious that I ordered enough for two than if I just don’t know how to follow recipes and made too much. I quickly make the sauce, cook the noodles and prepare the ziti before sliding it in the oven. I don’t know that this will be any good, but it can’t be that hard as long as the recipe was correct. I guess we’ll see.

It’s twenty after six so Laura should be here soon. I run to my bedroom to freshen up and change into something a little more appealing than a boring business suit. I mean, I make them look good but I need to step it up here if I’m going to catch the attention of someone like Laura. After taking a quick shower and changing into the tightest black jeans I own and a shirt so small it’s practically a corset. I make sure my hair is on point before going to the kitchen to make the salad. Glancing at the clock above the tv, I see that it’s 6:54 and Laura will be here any minute. I wish my stomach could calm the hell down.

I’ve thrown all the ingredients together and I’m about to toss the salad when I hear the doorbell ring. I run over to the bathroom to check my reflection one more time and calmly make my way to the door. I reach for the doorknob but I just can’t turn it. What if she rejects me? She could have the whole world and probably wouldn’t settle for someone like me. I can’t do this anymore. I’ll never find happiness if I don’t try.

Opening the door, I am greeted with the same bright smile that I saw in my dreams last night. 

“Hey, Cupcake. Good to see you,” I say.

“Uh, hey Carmilla. Nice to see you too.”

“Why don’t you come in?”

“Thanks.”

When Laura passes me to walk in the door, I can’t help but notice how different she looks today. Gone are the ratty clothes and instead I find a very sophisticated side of her. She’s wearing a sleek black pantsuit with a white lacy shirt underneath. Her hair is curled slightly at the bottom and falls flawlessly over that stupid backpack of hers.

I close the door, lock it and say “well I suddenly feel underdressed.”

“Oh, don’t feel that way, you look incredible. I’m just coming from an event at my school. I don’t always dress this way, I swear.”

“You clean up well. You look beautiful actually,” I say, making eye contact for just a moment and then walking past her to the kitchen.

“Oh. Thank you,” she says barely loud enough for me to hear.

“Can I offer you something to drink while you’re here? I have water, tea, wine, soda, juice.”

“Uh, what flavor soda do you have?” she asks and walks a little closer to bar that separates the living room and kitchen.

“I have root beer and grape.”

“Grape would be great actually. It’s my favorite,” she says.

“Grape it is then.”

I busy myself with finding a cup and filling it with ice when I hear Laura unzipping her backpack. Of course she’s here for business. I grab the soda from the fridge and carry it over to the bar.

“So, let me show you this new-“

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” I say, completely interrupting her. She’s stunned for a few seconds. Opening and closing her mouth like there are words floating around in there somewhere but they can’t bubble to the surface.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I made too much and I thought you might be hungry after such a long day. You don’t have to.”

“I would love to,” she smiles.

“Really?” I ask, fighting a smile of my own.

“It smells delicious and I’ve had worse company I think,” she laughs.

“Ouch. It’s nice to know what you really think of me,” I say in a mocking tone.

“I’m kidding, Carmilla. I would love to stay for dinner if you’ll have me.”

“I’m not asking twice, Cupcake. Come help me set the table if you’re staying,” I say, finally letting that smile break free.

We fix our plates with the boiling hot ziti, salad and bread. Laura’s having her grape soda and I decided on tea. It takes us a few minutes to warm up to conversation again. I’m pretty nervous for some reason and she’s acting like she’s nervous too.

“So, what event did you have at school? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t mind at all. The professor I work for just received a huge grant for a project we’re working on and it was a party to celebrate it. This grant means that we’re funded for at least the next six years. It also means that I’ll have a job once I graduate. It’s been a pretty good day actually.”

“Wow, that’s great. Congratulations. What project are you working on?” I ask.

“Our team came into the possession of a bunch of ancient Sumerian artifacts a few years ago. I work in restoring a lot of the more fragile texts and deciphering their meaning. I’m learning a lot working with Professor Hall and I’m really to get a job working for her while I pursue my doctorate.”

“That’s really impressive, Laura. I can’t even imagine what that line of work must be like. Wow.”

“I mean, I really love what I do. I can’t wait until I get to do it full time. You’re the impressive one though, Carmilla. You’re a doctor!”

“I’m a psychiatrist, Cutie. Not saving lives here.”

“You save lives all the time! The mental health field is an absolute necessity in this world we’re living in, don’t you see that? There are so many people out there that desperately need help but don’t know how to ask for it. You’re out there helping them work through their problems every day. You may not see it, but what you do is amazing.”

* * *

 

We talk throughout dinner about her work mostly. I am so fascinated that this unassuming woman I just met could be so complex and interesting but not even realize it. She seems so oblivious to the fact that she’s incredible. She’s more intelligent than anyone I’ve ever met, she’s breathtaking from head to toe, she’s extremely kind and sweet all while giving off the impression that she could kick your ass. It kind of worries me that I’m sitting here daydreaming about holding her hand as if I were sixteen, but I can’t seem to stop myself. Even quirks that I would normally find incredibly annoying look good on her. I mean, who wipes their mouth after every single bite? I’m getting in over my head here.

“So, tell me a little about yourself, Carmilla.”

“Not much to know really. My brother and I were raised by a single mom. She had to work so many jobs to take care of us. I wanted better so I worked at two different bars to put myself through medical school. You know, living the dream.”

“You should be proud of yourself, you know. Not everyone has the fortitude to put themselves through that amount of work just to better their circumstances. Most people are comfortable with accepting their surroundings and follow the path others have set for them. You sought out success and earned it. That’s something to be proud of.”

“Damn, Cupcake. No one’s ever put it quite like that.”

Is this girls for real?

“Yea, well it’s all true. Anyway, about why you really brought me over here tonight,” she says.

Shit. She knows. Oh god I’m mortified. I didn’t want her to figure things out yet.

“I got something in from my friend last night. I’ve been waiting to get my hands on this stuff for so long. You obviously went through that stuff I sold you yesterday really fast so you can buy more if you want this time,” she says.

“Yea. That. Yea, I’ll take the new stuff. I trust you,” I say.

“Ok, how much of it do you want?”

“Same amount. I won’t go through it nearly as fast this time. I promise,” I say, knowing that I barely smoked any of the stuff she sold me yesterday. I was really high when I texted her and I didn’t realize what I was doing. I just wanted her to come back over here.

“Sounds good. That will be $60 again.”

She gets up from the table to grab her backpack and returns to sit back down. Reaching in the bag, she pulls out a box and places it on the table before sliding it to me. I slide the money across the table to her and we continue eating as if an illegal transaction had not happened seconds before. We make more small talk, playing an unstructured game of twenty questions before running out of food and time.

“I should probably be going. Thanks for dinner,” she says. “Do you need any help cleaning up?” she asks.

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks for the offer though,” I say, getting up to walk her to the door.

I’m walking behind her and once we reach the door she spins around quickly and catches me looking at her ass. Whoops. I widen my eyes before walking over to unlock the door for her.

“Here, let me get the door,” I say, standing just inches from her and twisting the dead bolt upright.

“You know, next time you can just ask me to come over for dinner. No need to pretend you need to buy anything from me,” she says, never tearing her eyes away from mine.

I can’t think. Is she serious? Where the hell did this side of Laura come from? I’m not sure of what’s happening but I love it.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind for next time,” I manage to spit out as I open the door.

She closes any remaining distance between us, standing up on her toes and kissing me on the cheek before turning on her heels and walking out the door.

What the fuck just happened?


End file.
